Day 318|365

Day 318I never thought I’d love seeing pink baby clothes hanging on the washing line so much! I was pretty nervous about the thought of having a girl, because of the inevitable onslaught of pink stuff, but I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I love it now it’s happening! I even chose to get her a pink mobile instead of a white mobile for her crib…what’s happening to me??

Day 317|365

Day 317.jpgShe smiled the second I got in to position to take her picture…she’s learning!

I really can’t remember what happened today…as it’s now two weeks later…I was so naive when I thought I’d be able to get in to a routine and catch up on the blog three weeks ago! I’m sure many of you laughed at me when I said that.

I vaguely remember having a very chilled morning, hanging out in bed, snoozing, pumping, and snuggling my little girl!

Day 316|365

Day 316.jpgI woke around 5am with a slight temperature and body aches, so I took some paracetamol and texted my Mum (who was in the room upstairs), because no matter what age you are, sometimes you just need your Mama. She came down, felt my forehead and didn’t think I was very hot. Ha. Florence had been gurning, but she’d settled again, thanks to her dummy. So I tried to get back to sleep.

Florie woke again at half 7 for a feed. This was a little more unpleasant than usual, and that’s when the bottle of formula I’d been given by a friend for emergencies became very tempting!

Mum took Florence so I could have a bath (my first one since giving birth!) and try to soothe my aching bones. When I got out I felt super tired, and Florie was still sleeping, so I tried to get some sleep myself. When I woke I took my temperature (thanks to the ear thermometer that comes in the Baby Box), and it had risen to 38.6C and I was in flood of tears at the thought of feeding Florie, but also feeling like a failure if I gave her the bottle of formula…I would like to say for all Mum’s out there using formula; that is not a failure!! I was clearly unwell and my mind was not thinking clearly. I was saying horrible things about myself, worrying that I couldn’t take care of Florence. I am so thankful my Mum was there to calm me down, hand me the bottle of formula, and take control of calling the health visitor (turns out they don’t work weekends) and then NHS24 so we could find out what was wrong with me! Each time I took paracetamol my temperature lowered and I felt more sane. Unfortunately this coincided with the phone call to NHS24 so they said they’d call back within 3 hours, clearly not thinking it was a big deal. My sister came round and helped out too, and her and Mum took Florie out in her pram to get her to sleep, so I could sleep too (this time with cabbage leaves in my bra to try soothe my nipples)!

When I woke I felt awful again, and my temperature had risen to 39.2, so Mum got back on the phone to NHS24. Meanwhile a friend popped round to drop off a breast pump so I could try expressing milk as well as using formula. I am so thankful to have wonderful women in my life who are there to offer advice and support whatever the issue!

We got an out of hours appointment at Raigmore for 5pm…I said that was totally fine, as we stay just up the road, but I didn’t realise it was 4:45 by this point! Impressively I managed to get dressed and get Florie in to the car in the space of 10 minutes, with Mum’s help.

The doctor informed me I had infected mastitis. Woo! My heart rate was very high, but my blood pressure was fine, and my temperature had dropped back down to 38.6, so antibiotics, ibuprofen and plenty of fluids should do the trick, but if my temperature got worse I was to go to A+E (thankfully that didn’t happen, and the antibiotics, and continuing to express milk, did the trick by the end of the week…but you don’t know that yet, because we’re still only on day 316, of course).

We headed back home, I took my drugs and excitedly awaited Matthew’s return from his lads weekend in London! Ruined slightly by many manic text messages from his wife in a total panic about not being able to look after their daughter *head in hands* Matthew is a worrier, but thankfully he kept a level head and sent me words of encouragement, rather than freaking out about being so far away and unable to help!

I fed Florie another bottle of formula, and at this point I was still in a bit of a daze and didn’t check how much she should have, so I ended up giving her a little too much and it all came back up out of her mouth and nose. That was a shock for me! She’d only ever been sick once before, on our first day in hospital, and that was a relief as it brought up the remaining mucus in her stomach, but this was something else. Like a massive exploding bubble which went all over herself, me, and the spotless sofa in the upstairs living room *covers eyes* Oops! She didn’t bat an eyelid or make a peep though. She was very chilled about it all. But she was rather sticky, so once Daddy got home we filled the bath and go her squeaky clean again!

Day 315|365

Day 315.jpgMatthew headed off to London last night for a stag do. We thought Florence would be a few weeks older by the time this came around, so it was difficult to say goodbye to him, and he missed us a lot!

Mum and I took a stroll along the Caledonian Canal this afternoon. Turns out our pram is not made for bumpy paths…I’ll need to take her in the sling if we go there in future!

Today was the beginning of my breastfeeding dramas. We were going to go for lunch after our walk, but Florence was getting upset and I was so nervous to breastfeed in public, because it had become so painful. It hadn’t been long since her last feed, so I was trying to hold off for as long as possible. We headed back to the car and discovered she had a dirty nappy so we changed that and I hoped this would settle her…it didn’t. We headed to my sister’s house, she cried almost the whole way there, so I was going to feed her when we arrived but a cuddle from my sister, and then my niece, and then my nephew, got her to sleep.

I was so nervous of her waking up again, but, of course, eventually she needed to feed. Thankfully Dave, my brother in law, was taking the kids out to the park with their other cousins, as I burst in to tears, terrified of latching Florie on, and feeling so bad about it! To begin with I tried to be modest, but in the end I didn’t care that my boobs were out, as I tried to get Florie’s arms out the way so I could latch her on properly (that girl loves to try sucking her hands!). Mum saw the damage to my nipples, and finally understood my fear! We started talking about getting Florie a dummy, because she enjoys sucking so much, and I was automatically latching her on to settle her, when really she was just comfort sucking, not feeding, and my nipples were so damaged that this was not good for me! I was so against giving my children a dummy…but boy am I thankful I did! I still knew when she was hungry, as the dummy didn’t satisfy her, but when she just wanted to comfort suck she was very happy to have it, and once she was asleep she would pop it out.

Day 314|365

Day 314.jpgDaddy got a half day! Yay! His colleagues were given a half day the previous Friday (for good behaviour! Ha, just kidding. It was for a successful quarter), while he was on leave, so he was kindly given a half day this week!

We headed to The Dairy for lunch with Mum, and I successfully breastfed in public for the first time, whilst eating my lunch, woo! I found a few pieces of thyme, from my focaccia, down my top later that day, but at least I didn’t drop anything on Florence!

Day 313|365

Day 312.jpgThis is a terrible photo…I know…there’s no baby in it!

Mum and I popped out to my aunt and uncles house in the Black Isle, so they could meet Florence, and I didn’t take any photos. Oops. So I snapped this totally arty shot of the sky and winter trees on our way home.


Day 311|365

Day 311.jpgI attempted to take some newborn photos this morning, with the help of my sister. I thought I’d be an absolute pro at taking my own newborn photos, but turns out I was just a nervous mother! It didn’t help that the previous night we’d only slept 45 minute stints so I was exhausted and over thinking everything.

I fed Florie for pretty much an hour…although, let’s face it, she was asleep for most of that probably, and she woke up the minute we put her down in the basket. But she was totally chilled, so I just snapped away. If she was asleep we would’ve been able to position her arms and legs in a more snug position, but instead she was wriggling all over.

I’m happy to have natural newborn photos of her, not overly posed images, and it is lovely to get photos of her with her eyes open! Just need to choose some for thank you cards now…


Day 310|365

Day 310

Daddy went back to work today. Sob. Florence kindly slept until after he headed off, so I was able to go make his coffee and toast, as usual, but I did say I couldn’t guarantee it would happen every day (I’m writing this one week on and I can tell you, it hasn’t happened again since). I went back to bed afterwards, in the hopes of getting a bit more sleep, but, of course, Florie then decided it was time to get up.

The midwife came for our final check up before handing over to the Health Visitor. All my answers to her questions were so positive, because we were doing great!  Apart from being a little sad that Daddy was back to work, things were going really well. She checked my stitches and they were healing incredibly well. All was good!

The Breastfeeding Support Worker came to check on us today too, and by that point I had been stuck in bed with Florence attached to me for quite a while, unable to eat my lunch because I couldn’t get her in a position on my nursing pillow to go hands free. She kept falling asleep at the breast, so not really getting enough milk, and waking up when I tried to put her down wanting more milk. So with that, and the pain I was having from her latch the previous week, the BFS worker started to wonder if Florie had a tongue tie which was making it difficult for her to feed. When I watched her play with her tongue later on it looked like it was moving around fine so I figured it wasn’t that.

When Matthew got home I burst in to tears…I’d spent the whole day in bed, which I thought would be a good thing for us to do the first day without Daddy, and by the time we had our visits from the Midwife and BFS worker and Florence took forever to feed before eventually going in her bed, I hadn’t really had the chance to do anything else. It felt like a bit of a failed day! But there are going to be days like that, when she’s just wanting to feed all day, to help her grow, or to comfort her.