I spent about half an hour, sweaty and red post shower (yeah, I know! You try being 28 weeks pregnant on a humid day), trying to get a self-portrait for today’s post, but I couldn’t figure out what expression I wanted; smiling just felt forced. Then Matthew got home from work and I asked if he would jump in on the photo too…job done in less than a minute! Real life moment right here. Bedside tables covered in our mess, an unmade bed because Jasper barfed on it when we got up this morning, and happy happy faces.
Today I want to be real, as I am inspired to be daily by so many creative women on Instagram but have never quite been brave enough until now…
At the start of this year I decided to start up my photography business again. Within a few weeks Matthew and I found out there was a little miracle growing inside me and this was the most wonderful news, but I began to worry about starting up a business whilst we prepared to welcome Baby Mac in to our lives and I wondered if it was the right thing to do. After much thought I decided that being my own boss, getting to choose my own hours and set my own work limit was a great privilege when you’re raising a child, so I should go for it!
I did online training courses in lighting and posing to refresh my knowledge and skill set and got great inspiration for photo shoots. But my confidence was incredibly low, I was constantly battling with asking couples to “model” for me to freshen up my portfolio and worrying that the images would be terrible and I’d just be wasting their time.
There are so many fantastic photographers in this country, and I am so so guilty of comparison, as many of us are in this social media mad world (if you’re not guilty of doing this, please teach me your ways!). I thought “What’s the point in me adding another business to this Industry? I’ll never get hired instead of those photographers because their work is incredible.” And for months I’ve just plodded on, not having the confidence to promote myself, and feeling more and more flat about the fact that I’m sitting at home doing nothing most days (apart from daily dog walks, housewife tasks and growing a human), when I should be out doing some kind of work to help provide for our growing family!
Matthew has been the most wonderful husband I could ever have asked for! It’s not easy being married to an anxious, introverted, creative but God brought us together and I am so so thankful for that.
Today I want to stop hiding, and making excuses and be brave by being honest and making myself accountable…
Photography makes me happy! I don’t need to be the best in the industry and win loads of awards. I just long to capture fun, happy images of couples in love, for them to treasure for the rest of their lives. What does it matter if there are hundreds of other photographers across the country. We should all be supporting each other (and going on holiday together so we can take cute pictures for each other)!! And if I can provide beautiful images for even just a few couples and families each year then that’s all I need. This miracle baby is going to be my main priority in just a few quick months but I’m gonna need something to do on the afternoons they’re kidnapped by their grandparents!
So, firstly, thank you for reading this far, and secondly, if you like my work, and know of anyone in Aberdeen or Inverness who might like it too please spread the word and get Catriona Elizabeth Photography out there so it gets me off my butt and in front of some beautiful souls!
If you’re a fun-loving couple interested in helping me freshen up my portfolio with a mixture of silliness and snuggles then please get in touch and tell me a bit about your story.